#171 First chapter of End of the Universe

CHAPTER 1: INSPIRED MADNESS 

Matthews and Barnes sat in the Channeatune Room, the most expensive restaurant in the explored regions of the universe.

“I appreciate your desire to meet in neutral territory,” said Barnes. “But was it really necessary to reserve the entire restaurant?”

“Don’t worry,” said Matthews. “This one is on me.”

She took a sip of Spiced Eclipse Pish, the most expensive pish in the Republic. 

“So, what’s new, Barnes?”

“You asked me here for a chat?”

“You keep your eye on things. I can do with the benefit of your intelligence.”

“What do you need?.”

“The whereabouts of a Hersean called Scotmax and a Corporation mining clone called Sevan.”

Barnes laughed.

“Now why would you be interested in a corporation mining clone?” he asked.

“This corporation mining clone is a rebel.”

“I can’t help you with your Hersean, but I know where your mining clone is. He also interests me.”

“Where is he?”

“Not so fast. This mining clone, in whom you are so interested, travels with an ex-corporation security clone and an ex-Republic military clone. They have become somewhat of a pet project of mine.”

“So, what do you propose?”

“A game, of sorts. I would like to see how resilient one of my mining clones really is. Let us play with him and see how strong he is.”

“I heard your mining clones are indestructible.”

“Oh no, they are destructible. We can easily kill them. I simply overcame the biological constraints so they don’t age, but we can easily kill them, either deliberately or accidentally.”

*

On the Planet of Pallene, Sevan sat in the bar where Ay-ttho and Tori had told them they would meet him, but Nadio entered alone and rushed up to him.

“What is it?” Sevan asked, seeing Nadio was too out of breath to speak.

“It’s Tori and Ay-ttho,” he said, once he had recovered himself enough. “They have taken them.”

“What? Who?”

“I don’t know. They could have been bounty hunters.”

“Where was this?”

“They were brawl boarding, and they were waiting for them on the beach. I escaped without being seen.”

“Let’s get back to the ship.”

Nadio followed Sevan to the Mastery of the Stars, but when they arrived where they had left the ship, it was not there.

“They must have taken it,” said Sevan, staring at the space where the ship used to be.

He realised they were alone on this strange planet and, apart from the small amount in his suit, he had no credits.

“Do you have any credits?” he asked Nadio.

“No.”

“Great.”

“What do we do?” Nadio was panicking.

“We need to get a job.”

“I can clean.”

Nadio hadn’t worked since he was a young thug when he had worked in the bar of the thug that was meant to be looking after him. Sevan hadn’t worked since he had been the Chief Council Member on The Doomed Planet, but he doubted there were any mining colonies on Pallene.

They wandered back to the bar where Sevan had been waiting.

“We need jobs and accommodation,” Sevan explained to the bar owner.

“Good luck with that.” 

Sevan looked at the tall armoured, long-snouted, small-eared bar owner with his eight legs and claws, which he used to hold and wipe several glasses simultaneously.

“He used to work in a bar,” Sevan said, pointing to Nadio.

“And what did you do?”

“I worked in a mining colony.”

“Used to heavy lifting, eh?”

“Erm,” Sevan thought it might be best not to mention that he worked on the administration side of the concession.

“There are some barrels out the back that need taking down to the cellar. You can start with those,” the bar owner turned his attention to Nadio. “You can start cleaning.”

The barrels were too heavy for Sevan, so Nadio had to help him. In return, Sevan helped Nadio with the cleaning, though Nadio had to supervise a lot as Sevan was fairly unknowledgeable about the art of cleaning.

When the bar closed, the owner gave them a bowl each filled with some not quite dead marine creature and a mug of cloudy liquid which Sevan knew they made from Ocrex ink.

He did his best to eat and drink it all and had to defend it from Nadio, who had wolfed his down and was looking for leftovers. Sevan wondered why, of all the planets, he could have been marooned on, why had the gods chosen one where there was no pish or fushy to drink and the food was not quite dead. 

‘Nevermarble,’ he thought. ‘I just have to make the most of it.’

*

“Has our experiment on Pallene begun well?” Matthews asked Barnes via a tachyon transmission. 

“We have removed all his colleagues but one, but he seems far from being crushed.”

“Then we must increase the pressure until he breaks.”

“Agreed. I will implement the next phase of the plan.”

*

Sevan and Nadio slept on the floor of the bar.

“What in the worst place happened to you?” said the bar owner when he came to wake them.

“What do you mean?” asked Sevan, itching himself.

“In the name of Vyysus, God Of Magic!” Nadio exclaimed, moving away from Sevan.

“What?” Sevan looked at his arms and saw that it was covered so completely in yellow boils he could not see his turquoise skin.

“It’s Scophumen Pernilica,” said the owner.

“What’s that?”

“It’s normally caused by gendrid or iq’oik bites. I’ll get you a healing staff.”

“Why hasn’t he got it?” Sevan asked, pointing to Nadio.

“They don’t like thugs. Here you go.”

“What’s that?”

“A healing staff,” said the owner, handing Sevan what looked like a broken piece of pot.

“It looks like a broken piece of pot.”

“Your broken piece of pot is someone else’s healing staff. Do you want it or not?”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Burst every scophumen, otherwise they will swell until you explode.”

“Every one?”

“Every one. And go out the back to do it. I don’t want my floor covered in scophumen puss.”

Sevan went out the back and began piercing the scophumen boils. Each one exploded spectacularly, sending green puss showering everywhere. As the boils he burst became smaller, the effect of their bursting became relatively less spectacular and he relied on Nadio to help him locate ones in difficult to reach areas.

However, no sooner had he thought he had lanced the last boil than more emerged and it was like the old fable of having to paint the Gaia Station, it was so huge that, no sooner had they finished painting than they had to start again.

“Why didn’t they make it out of something they didn’t need to paint?” Sevan mused.

“What?” asked Nadio.

“The Gaia Station.”

“What’s the Gaia Station?”

“It’s a huge space station, the biggest. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was bigger than the Tomorrow space station.”

“What about it?”

“Why didn’t they make it out of something that didn’t need painting?”

“Why would they?”

“Do you not know the story? They take so long to paint it that, by the time they finish, they have to start again.”

“At least it gives someone a job.”

“I suppose so.”

Nadio thought about it for a moment.

“Of course, if they used more painters, they would paint it quicker and then they could all have a holirotation.”

“You are a genius,” Sevan said as sarcastically as possible.  

Working together, they kept the boils more or less under control, but by this time they were both covered with, and sat in a puddle of, putrid scophumen boil puss.

“Get this cleaned up,” the bar owner said when he saw the mess. “Then there’re more barrels to shift. Then you need to clean the inside of the bar.”

Nadio helped to shift the barrels and, as they worked, new boils would grow and burst whenever they were pressed against a barrel or any other surface. 

When they had finished moving the barrels, they had to clean the scophumen boil puss off various surfaces, then Nadio cleaned the bar. He didn’t want Sevan spreading his puss around, as that would have meant having to clean the bar twice. 

When the bar had closed, the owner gave them the same food and drink as the previous night and then told them they could sleep on the floor.

“But won’t I get more bites?” asked Sevan.

“It doesn’t matter. Once you’ve got scophumen pernilica, you’re immune. On second thoughts, sleep out the back. I don’t want puss on my floor.”

Sevan lay down in the dirt outside, which seemed to soothe his sores. Nadio, in a sign of solidarity, followed Sevan outside and lay in the dirt next to him. 

“Don’t you ever feel like giving up?” Nadio asked.

“Why?” said Sevan. “I can’t do anything about any of this, so why worry?”

“Do you never feel like it’s all too much?”

“I always feel like it’s all too much. It’s a sensation I’ve become accustomed to living with from moment to moment. Why did Barnes create us so that we never get old?”

“You can’t die?”

“I can die if someone kills me or I have a fatal accident or a disease. But one thing is sure, I won’t die of old age. He removed the ageing process from our genetic makeup.”

“Wow, that’s cool,” it impressed Nadio.

“Why? What’s wrong with growing old?”

They lay in the dirt and stared up into the night sky.

“What’s that bright star there?” Nadio asked.

“No idea,” said Sevan. “Maybe it’s not a star. Maybe it’s a satellite or a space station.”

“Or a comet?”

“Or a comet, heading straight for us so we can’t see its tail.”

During the night Sevan’s boils grew and in the morning Nadio helped him burst them with the usual resultant explosions of putrid puss juice.

However, one boil on Sevan’s back proved stubborn and would not burst.

“What do you think?” he asked the bar owner when he arrived to complain about the mess.

“Have you been using the healing staff?”

“If you mean the broken piece of pot, then yes.”

“Well, if the healing staff won’t burst it, then it must be a scophumen stubornus.”

“What is one of those when it’s at home?”

“A scophumen that won’t burst.”

“What happens if it doesn’t burst?”

“It just gets bigger until your whole body explodes.”

“I’d rather avoid that. Is there nothing I can do apart from poking it with a broken piece of pot?”

“There is a healer who lives outside the settlement, but it will take you all day to get there, and I’m not paying you if you don’t work this rotation.”

“You don’t pay us, anyway.”

“Well, don’t come rushing back expecting food and drink and a nice floor to sleep on. Actually, judging by the size of that scophumen, you’ll be lucky to make it to the healer. It’ll probably explode before you get there.”

“Would you at least tell us which direction?”

The owner extended a claw and Sevan and Nadio headed off in the general direction.

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